The concept of the snowflake method is simple: start with a basic sentence outlining your entire story. Next, flesh out the sentence, adding important details, scenes, and events that bring your story to its climax and conclusion. By the time you’re finished you should have a paragraph that includes most of the major scenes and turning events in your novel, or at least a beginning, middle, and end.

At this point, Randy recommends doing quick, one-page character sheets for your main characters, including their background and primary motivation. I’m not sure how useful this step is as character sheets have never been my “thing” but maybe you will find them helpful if you’re a little fuzzy on who your characters are. If you can’t answer whether your character would jump in the way of a moving train to save a total stranger, or if they prefer rainy days or sunshine, coffee or tea, bourbon or drano, or even paper or plastic, then perhaps you ought to do a character sheet.

From here, having a good idea of your novel from the summary paragraph coupled with the information in your character sheets, it should be easy to develop each sentence of your summary into its own paragraph until you have a full page. There should be a sentence or more for every chapter. Randy suggests ending every chapter but the last in a “disaster.” Personally, I imagine this would get pretty tiresome for the reader. Shouldn’t some chapters end in other states? Happiness? Excitement? Not Randy’s, I guess. But I suppose it all depends upon what kind of novel you’re trying to write. If you’re a sadist, hell-bent on making your characters’ lives as tragic as possible, then always ending with disaster may be a good way to go.

At this point, the snowflake method sends you back to the character sheets, this time asking you to develop them into full-page character synopses. “Editors love character synopses,” Randy says, “because editors love character-based fiction.” Well, again, this will depend on whatever genre you are writing and who, if anyone, you are marketing it towards. Characters are almost always important, but to what degree is certainly varied. That said, the majority of fiction that gets published these days is character-based. Just don’t feel like you have to make it so if it isn’t.

By this point we’re halfway done with the ten-step snowflake method. Stage six involves turning the one-page summary into a four page mini-novel. Randy recommends fixing any mistakes and tying up any loose ends at this point and I’d have to agree that it’s a good idea. It’s a lot easier to go back and change parts of a story in 4 pages than it is to comb through 100.

Once more, Randy sends us back to the character sheets and asks us to change anything that needs changing as the characters become more clear to us and add more details about them. Again, I think it’s good to double-check your details at this point but I’m not sure how necessary it is to expand the character sheets themselves. I guess that’s up to you and how useful it is for you to have everything down on paper.

Now is the time to submit a proposal and sell your novel to a publisher, if you can, says Randy. But Randy doesn’t offer a lot of advice on this as his method is about writing, not about publication. I suppose if you sign up for his e-zine, or buy a copy of his book (is it Writing for Dummies or Writing for Dummies, btw?) he might slip you some pointers.

Step 8 involves us waiting around to get our novel accepted and making a scene chart using Excel or some other spreadsheet to pass the time. Columns for each situation and point of view should be included for each scene. I think scene charts are really useful but I can’t imagine creating one in excel and in such a rigid, lifeless, and business-like format. I guess that’s just the artist in me. It’s just not how I work. Rather, I create an interpretive collage or abstract finger-painting detailing the crucial bits of my novel and then hang it on the wall above my bed so I can have nightmares about it when I’m unconscious. Actually, I don’t. And because of this, I sleep quite soundly.

On to step nine, an optional step which Randy says (because he’s such a pro) he doesn’t need to do anymore. Take each scene in your spreadsheet and write it out including descriptions of setting, bits of dialogue, and the main conflict. The result should be a prototype first draft. Do it in a spiral notebook and you can rip out the pages so as to re-order scenes or just do it in a word processor and re-arrange by cutting and pasting. I actually think this is one of the more useful stages in Randy’s process because it allows you to make note of the scene essentials so you don’t get lost. It also lets you play around with issues like timing in a non-committal way. For me, this is more important than the spreadsheet and more important than the lengthy character sheets because it is, in essence, the novel –down on paper, if only in pre-crafted form. It’s sort of a contractual obligation to write, the setting down of a dramatic foundation, like a story board. It’s also important if, for whatever reason, you end up not having enough time to bang your novel out in one go and have to come back to it later. This way, you’ll have everything down on paper so you won’t forget.

The last step is to pound out your first draft. Randy seems to indicate that you should do this from scratch. Having tried the method myself, I think it’s easiest to use step 9 as a guide. Just like graphic designers use a grid, you can use your summary to “block” your writing. Delete sentences that tell and transform them into sentences that show. Instead of the quick one-liner, “she comes home to find a dead body,” that you have in your summary, start with the detail of the doorknob and work your way down to the bloody wound in John Doe’s forehead until you have a paragraph, or even a completed scene. In this way, you can also jump around if you don’t feel like writing chronologically (for example, if you’re not in the mood to write the love scene you can write the funeral scene and come back to expand the love scene when you’re in a less grim mood.)

As Randy states, the snowflake method is not for everyone. There are a lot of writers who write by doing, and aren’t much for planning. My work would certainly fall into that category, most of the time, so I would classify myself as a “flying by the seat of my pants” writer, even though I dislike the expression and tend to wear skirts. But don’t worry fellow flying-by-the-seat-of-our-pants writers. I do think the snowflake method can be adapted to suit our somewhat spastic needs. For starters, ditch the character sheets completely so as to let your characters evolve organically from the story OR only write short charts (or paragraphs) including the bare essentials (hair color, eye color, etc.) This will make your editing work harder as you’ll have to go back through your novel to make sure your character is consistent, but if this is the best way for you to form your characters (as it is mine) then so be it. The extra work will be worth the genuine, fresh characters that develop.

The snowflake method is also a little trying if you haven’t decided on every aspect of your novel. That’s okay. Try starting your snow flake with the scene you already have and then building on it by adding to either side (before this scene and afterward). This makes it easier than trying to start at the beginning if you have no idea what the beginning actually is.

I don’t know if I’m going to run out and by a book with the words “writing” and “dummies” right next to each other, but I do want to thank Dr. Ingermanson (doctor of physics, note you) for his advice. It has certainly been something to mull over and possibly for a lot of very patient, scientific, or formulaic writers very useful. You can sign up for Randy’s newsletter on his website, or take his writing road-map quiz to figure out where you are along the long road to publication, if you don’t know already. Recommendations like attending writing conferences and getting critique partners abound.

How to Make Your First Sentence Stick

1) Cause a Reaction – Many readers (particularly those who favor drama, mystery, and horror) want to be affected by their reading material- either emotionally or intellectually. When choosing their reading material, they are looking for something to entertain, shock, or even scare them but definitely to affect them in some way. So it only figures that one of the first things your average reader will be looking for is whether or not your first sentence affects them. Does it make the reader jump? Pause? Scratch their head? Any of these are fine, as long as the words provoke the appropriate reaction from the reader.

2) Open with Action – Now you don’t HAVE to do this and in my opinion I think this device lends itself to cliche too easily, but opening with action is a better way to get your reader’s attention than opening with a lengthy internal monologue. Common actions include: running, falling, stealing or taking an object, pushing or getting pushed by someone, escaping from a vehicle or building, injuring someone / being injured by someone, or kicking off a bout of hot, steamy sex.

3) Zoom In – If you want to start with a description (which the “action first” people will tell you not to) try a zoom-in beginning. You’re probably more familiar with seeing this sort of thing in the movies than on paper, so let me clarify how it works. Try and describe with your words what you’d see in a film that opens this way, starting with the big picture- an overall view of the setting- then closing in on your main characters (or at least the main characters of the opening scene). Some questions to answer: Where are we? What’s happening? Who’s there? What do they look like? What are they saying?

4) Dialogue – Opening with a bit of dialogue can be a great way to draw a reader in. The same folks who like to read about people are often the same folks who like to eavesdrop on people, so your reader will naturally be interested if you open with a conversation. However, (and this is very important) there are a few things to stay away from when opening with dialogue. First, try not to open with a mundane sentence like, “I’ll see you later.” This is not very interesting as it fails to give the reader anywhere to go. Try to choose something odd, awkward, or non-obvious that provides intrigue. Ambiguous details, tone, and flavored diction can help with this. “Give me back that key!” is better than the first because it creates questions for the reader: Why is this person shouting? What is the key to? Why was it taken? If your narrative is in first person you can also use a line of internal dialogue on behalf of your character which sets a precedent for your character’s views, tone, strengths, and flaws.

5) DON’T Start at the Beginning – Contrary to what Julie Andrews might have to say on the subject, the beginning is not always a very good place to start and in writing it is usually a terrible way to kick things off. Why? Because most of the time the beginning is not as interesting, or even necessary, as the bits which come later on in the story closer to the climax. Your reader doesn’t want to hear the long, drawn-out story of how your character lost their job. They might want to be there for the actual firing (a dramatic event) or the messy aftermath, but certainly not the normal 9-5 M-F work week where nothing happens. Most readers want to be thrust into a story that is already happening. This allows them to participate in the story, uncovering the details of the past slowly just as they would if they were thrown into a real life situation that was already in progress. So how do you know where to start then? Well, if you’ve already written a draft then re-read your story and pinpoint the part where things start to get interesting, where your attention perks up. Then chuck out the previous paragraphs or pages (I know this may seem difficult) and see if you need to modify anything you have left (chances are you won’t). If you haven’t written your story already, try to think of a scene before the climax where some kind of action is involved, preferably some of the rising action that foreshadows or hints at the more difficult overall situation your character has to deal with when they come to the climax later on. Now, this may take some tweaking, so don’t put off writing because you don’t know where to start. Start and then edit it back if you need to. Most importantly, keep yourself writing, even if you end up chucking out a lot of it at first in the editing process until you get the hang of things.

Famous First Sentences

All this happened, more or less. – Kurt Vonnegut Slaughterhouse Five

It was a pleasure to burn. – Ray Bradbury Fahrenheit 451

You better not never tell nobody but God. – Alive Walker The Color Purple

If I am out of my mind, it’s all right with me, thought Moses Herzog. – Saul Bellow Herzog

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. – Hunter S. Thompson Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself. – Virginia Woolf Mrs. Dalloway

I write this sitting in the kitchen sink. – Dodie Smith I Capture the Castle

“It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York.” – Sylvia Plath The Bell Jar

“It’s one thing to live in a small country, but the country of Inner Horner was so small only one Inner Hornerite at a time could fit inside, and the other six Inner Hornerites had to wait their turns to live in their own country while standing very timidly in the surrounding country of Outer Horner.” – George Saunders The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil

“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.” – Douglas Adams Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Feel free to leave your own favorites in the comments! Happy writing!

Compository Rating: ****

Length: 150 pages, quick read

Price / Availability: $9.95 at Powell’s Books, $10.19 or cheaper used at Amazon
Mooch this book on BookMooch!

Usefulness: Very useful for those who want a crash course explanation of the ins and outs of writing dialogue. Not as useful for those who excel at writing dialogue or are looking for an in-depth guide to dialogue or examples of good dialogue.

Level: Ideal for students of writing, trained writers, and intermediate writers. Acceptable for beginner’s who want an introduction to writing dialogue and experts who are in need of a refresher.

Synopsis: A guidebook, written by a writing professor, explaining the ins and outs of writing dialogue for fictional works. Subjects covered include: how to collect dialogue from real world settings, how to edit dialogue, how dialogue relates to character, dialogue in other media, narrative dialogue, as well as the nuts and bolts of how to install dialogue in a written work.

Exercises: Includes 2 – 3 exercises at the end of every chapter related to the chapter’s content.

Overall review: Although I wouldn’t say Writing Dialogue is a must own for any writer, I would insist that anyone who is struggling with dialogue, no matter if it is a one time problem or a continuing hassle, should run out and get a copy of this book. At $9.95 it’s a steal of a deal and at 150 pages makes for a quick emergency read (or re-read) when needed.

I enjoyed reading Chiarella’s thoughts and explanations on the craft of writing dialogue and found them to be well explained and non-obvious. He writes like you’d expect a college professor to write, with loads of wit and intellect. It is one of the few books on writing which I’ve actually found to be a fun read. I thought his explanations of how to gather and edit dialogue were particularly helpful. I also enjoyed his discussion on the differences between television dialogue and fictional dialogue as I think this is something writers in this day and age should be particularly careful of. I didn’t feel that all the exercises were as useful, but generally speaking at least one exercise per chapter was helpful and worth doing.

The book is, like I said, a quick read so anyone looking for a more thorough approach to the topic of dialogue may want to select a different, more thorough text. With only eight chapters, the book reads like more of a handbook or crash course, devoting only a few pages to hefty subjects like dialect, narrative dialogue, and gesture. For those who already have some training with dialogue, this will be perfect in order to get a refresher or a quick overview of the topic of dialogue. Others may find themselves wanting or needing a more thorough explanation of the subjects covered. I personally felt that though many short examples and explanations were shared throughout the book, the book was lacking in examples of good, solid dialogue from other writers. I also was interested in hearing more about the process of gathering dialogue, as I felt this was touched upon rather quickly and is very important to any writer.

Alcohol, in particular, seems to be a popular favorite among writers. Fitzgerald, Melville, and Poe were alcoholics. So were O. Henry, Tennessee Williams, Dylan Thomas, Jack Karouac, James Joyce, and, of course, Ernest Hemmingway. There are lots more. There are so many in fact that I don’t think a complete list has ever been assembled and if it were it would probably be publication-worthy rolling in well over the 30,000 word mark.

As for writers who took drugs, there are plenty of names that pop up there too. William S. Burroughs is an obvious favorite with novels like Naked Lunch, Queer, and of course the aptly named Junky. Aldous Huxley’s later works were heavily influenced by his experiences with psychedelics, well after his invention of Soma in Brave New World. And then there’s Ken Kesey who took a magical mystery tour on his notorious bus “further” right around the time he was finishing up One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Many writers have built their entire writing career on experiences that occurred while under the influence. There is even a genre for it, more of less, called psychedelic fiction.

But what is it about drugs that leads writers to use them? And what about alcohol? Certainly while drugs and alcohol may lead to brilliance for SOME writers (god bless you Hunter S. Thompson) they definitely do not contain any inherent power that universally can make anyone a better writer. So why then?

Why Do Writers Drink & Do Drugs?

In addition to all the normal reasons people drink and do drugs, here are a couple which reasons which I think effect writers in particular:

1) Drugs are habitual. And habits, by nature, keep you doing SOMETHING. So a writer might say, “I always drink when I write. I always write when I drink.” It becomes a habit to the point where the writer learns to think of the two working in combination.

2) Drugs and alcohol lower inhibitions. For writers, this translates into a silencing of the inner-editor, the voice which tells you you’re doing this or that wrong or even stops you from writing completely.

3) Writers tend to be adventurous people always looks for a new experience to undergo and get inspired by. Drugs and alcohol are notorious for offering new ways to see and experience the world. It seems only natural that writers would want to use them.

My Own Experiences

Like a lot of writers, I’ve tried writing while under the influence. Sometimes the results have been great, and sometimes disastrous. Usually, it depends on WHAT I’ve been doing and how strong it was. For those who are interested in what my experiences were, they are below for your reading pleasure.

Coffee and cigarettes are probably two things that most writers abuse regularly, and are mostly harmless. I say mostly. I don’t smoke, but I certainly was on a coffee stint for a while. I was drinking about five cups a day in order to finish a novel for NanoWrimo when I had a panic attack and, not knowing what the hell was wrong with me, was taken to the emergency room. I spent about 145 euro on an EKG only to be told by the doctor that I was fine and just needed to cut out the caffeine for a while. As far as writing goes, I’ve found that sometimes coffee helps me to write and sometimes it makes my brain so jittery I can’t concentrate. I know other writers who have to have coffee in order to “get themselves going.” Personally, I think it is better in moderation. BTW looking back at the NanoWrimo I created, most of it is hurried, rambling garbage.

The next up on the totem pole of substances is the favorite of Carver, Capote, and Hemmingway among many others: alcohol. As a girl living in Germany, it’s easy for me to write after a couple drinks as long as I’m still mostly in control of my thoughts and limbs. After a certain point, though, I find it becomes pointless. I’ve written a few things while drunk which seemed sheer genius at the time but in the morning were nothing more than disappointing, illegible scribble. As a result, I try and steer clear of having too many drinks before writing, and try not to intentionally mix the two.

As far as marijuana goes towards being a gateway to a mystical realm, I’ve never found pot as inspirational as everyone else seems to. On the rare occasion I have smoked weed, it’s impossible to get me to do anything other than watch TV and eat cheddar cheese wedges (two things which often conspire to keep me from writing, but that I can generally say no to while sober).

As for harder stuff, it seems to make writing harder too. I once came up with a brilliant plot for a novel while on LSD about an acid head in purgatory. I went out to the beach with my notebook intending to write the whole thing down. I felt like I made a lot of headway. A couple weeks later I peeked in the journal and found I’d only written a page. It was a decent page. But there wasn’t much there. In fact, it wasn’t even a complete scene. I will probably write more of it someday, even if it isn’t as brilliant in retrospect and certainly has less priority than some of my other ideas. But looking back I realize that I was probably being a bit ambitious to think that I could write a whole novel all at once, even if I wasn’t going to sleep for another 12 hours.

Attempting to write a science fiction story on shrooms was probably the worst idea ever. For one thing, none of it made any sense. For another thing, it didn’t even make sense to the other people at the party who were on drugs, although they did all assure me it was brilliant and offered to hug me for sharing.

So Should I or Shouldn’t I?
Okay, so I’m really on dangerous ground here aren’t I? I should probably tell you to just say no and be done with it, but in the interest of stretching my right to freedom of speech (which doesn’t get enough time outside the house, really) I’m going to go a bit against the grain here and use the much-celebrated “IF.”

Well, in my opinion, if you are going to write while under the influence (of anything, including Tylenol), I wouldn’t recommend making a habit out of it. Whether you feel it makes it easier for you to write or not, it is still a crutch if you make your writing dependent on it and writers generally speaking have enough of our own innate crutches to hobble around on.

My second bit of advice is to not attempt to do anything beyond your means. You may get some great ideas. Write them down. But don’t expect to write a whole novel just because you now have super powers and are beyond the confines of the mortal world. Producing a solid work takes a lot of time and effort and realism (as in thinking realistically about how you’re going to do this thing). While under the influence, it is unlikely that you will have a lot of either at your disposal.

If you’re going to do it, do it for the right reasons. Now I can’t exactly tell you what the right reason is, but I can warn you against doing it for the wrong reasons. Don’t do it because you feel like you have to or that there is no other way. There is always another way. And if you’re doing it to solve a problem you might want to try some other, less life-changing solution first. There are plenty of ways to inspire yourself aside from taking drugs. A good collection of them can be found in this blog under “exercises.”

Lastly, be smart, know your limits, and take care of yourself. If you mess up your body and your brain then what’s there left of you to write with? Remember all that Platonian jazz about “healthy mind, healthy body?” Well, it wasn’t just the abundance of good, Greek wine speaking.

And So On
This entry of course is only the tip of the ice berg on this discussion. There have been books written as well as entire classroom curriculum designed around the topic of writers who take drugs. There are also some excellent resources on the web for those interested, among them I’d recommend reading Ann Waldon’s research on Writers and Alcohol.

Feel free to share other good finds in the comments! Happy writing!

A Room of One’s Own – As a poor person (and I mean making under the poverty level here) I’ve always had an issue with space. Most of my life I’ve lived in cramped apartments in crazy neighborhoods with little more than a room to myself. Luckily, as a writer, all you need is a room. It is difficult to work if you have less than this. For one thing, you may feel like your space isn’t your own. You may feel like you could be trampled on at any second. I once lived for a year in a one room studio with my boyfriend (an electronic musician). Although the room was large, easily the size of two rooms, we felt like we were constantly competing for creative space. Writer’s need room to allow their ideas to spin out of control.

Claim Your Space – Once you have a designated space of your own, set up a desk (or desk-like structure) and your equipment. If you are living with others, make sure to communicate to them some signal (for instance a door sign, the door being closed, something placed in front of the door) which suggests that when you are working they are not invited to come in. There is nothing more frustrating than being barged in on just as you were getting to the juicy bit of your story where the main character finally figures out that the post man has been lying to her only to lose your train of thought.

Clean Minimal Nothingness – If you wouldn’t want to sit in front of your messy desk then why on Earth would you expect yourself to want to write there? Sure, some like mess. I am definitely on the messier side of the spectrum. But clutter can be distracting. It can compete for your attention. Sometimes it’s good to have some distraction to get the juices flowing, but do you really think that wad of crumpled up tissue paper is going to fill your head with ideas? Make sure if you do have clutter surrounding you that it is HELPFUL clutter- the kind of clutter that gives you great ideas. If you can’t write with it or on it, it doesn’t belong there.

Music Makes the People Come Together – It is also a great tool for getting you in the right mindset. Of course, you have to be careful with this one. There is a lot of music that, although you might enjoy listening to it, isn’t great for writing. Some music is just plain distracting. You want to choose music that will help you get into “the zone.” This varies for everyone and of course some writers need (or feel they need) perfect silence to work. If you want to give it a shot, pick some tunes which provide a mood which tempts you to write. You don’t want something so overpowering that it competes with your attention. In fact, if you find yourself paying attention to the music more than once you probably haven’t found the right writing tunes yet. Some writers listen to the same CD over and over again in order to get them in the right “vibe” for their novel. Chuck Palahniuk listened to “Pretty Hate Machine” “for days on end” while writing Fight Club. Check out the rest of Chuck Palahniuk’s writer’s playlist here.

Play Dress Up – Now this will probably sound weird to a lot of you, but for a girl who loves costuming it’s only normal for me to look to dress up to solve all my problems, writer’s block included. I’ve found that a change of clothes can do wonders to change your mindset, and that this, too, effects the world of writing. Many writers have in their mind a vision of themselves as an accomplished writer. In fact, the want to become this person is so great that it is a leading factor (for better or for worse) in what drives writers to write. So I say, USE it. Writers are fairly dramatic people anyway (if not in real life then at least in our heads) so why not act out a little? Picture what this person, this writer version of you, looks like in your mind. Do they wear a vest? A smoking jacket with tweed patches? Smoke a pipe? Throw on a little costuming to help transform yourself into this person. Just as you’d wear a suit and tie to the office, try wearing your “writer’s gear” when you go to work on your novel or story.

A Cool, Dry Place – Environment can effect a writer and his or her writing just as much as noise can. Do your utmost to make sure you’re comfortable while you write. If you live in a hot environment, add a fan to your workspace. A cold environment? Add a heater. Of course this is all common sense but a lot of writer’s neglect this important factor when it comes to setting up their workspace.

Get Out! Get Out! – Sometimes predictability can be stifling. No surprise then that after days and days of dragging yourself to your writing desk and sitting in the same ol’ ergonomic chair in front of the same ol’ computer, you start to get bored. There is no harm in getting out of the house and finding new places to write. Libraries are generally good, as are some cafes. Try a few places and see what works for you. Remember that silence doesn’t always create the best writing environment. Asimov worked frequently at loud cafes, with the idea that if he could write in such a bustling, distracting environment he could write anywhere.

READ READ READ – Writers are almost always first readers. Surround yourself with good writing and turn to it often. Bookmark passages that inspire you. Go to an open mic. Buy a zine for Christ’s sake!

Juggle Your Talents – Many writers find that having more than one project to work at in a given period is a good way to keep their ideas fresh. An equal number can’t stand the thought of it. I recommend trying it and seeing if it works. Working on projects of varying degrees of length in different mediums is a good idea, so although three novels at once might be asking for a heart attack, one novel, a short story, and a blog is certainly doable.

A note on Writing While Under the Influence has been moved to it’s own post as I felt it was a different subject. Click Here to read.

There are lots of other ways to get yourself in the mood to write, so feel free to include your own methods in the comments. Happy writing!

Then there is writing. Writing lacks the urgency which other tasks present. There is no palpable consequence (for unemployed writers at least) for not writing, so often it is easier to let this task, although near and dear to us it may be, fall by the wayside.

Maybe you are one of those lucky writers who write all the time without needing to ever force yourself to do so, but for the majority of writers writing doesn’t always come so naturally. We need something to keep us writing, and often have to search for it ourselves. There are a few solutions to this:

One is to set goals for your project, be it a novel, short story, or set of poems, across a realistic time line. You can reward yourself (however you so choose) for meeting these goals. Maybe when you finish your new novel you’ll finally buy that cute little laptop you saw at the Sony Center?

The Write for Your Life Blog has an excellent article on how setting short term goals (which they call targets) will help you achieve life-long goals. Try to aim for success one piece at a time instead of aiming for the whole tamale.

The other option is to be tough on yourself, force yourself to write and if you find yourself slacking get someone (a friend or even an online writing pal) who will get tough on you and make you write regularly. Writing groups can be very useful in this way, as it is always embarrassing to be the only one to show up to a writing group with nothing to share.

Another way to get tough on yourself is to set a word limit every day (for example 500 words). If you don’t meet this word limit, you will have to make it up tomorrow, plus an additional amount of words (say, an extra 100) so you end up getting in your fair share.

If you’re really stuck, I’d recommend using Write or Die. Write or Die is a great tool for writers of all sorts who can’t seem to keep going. It is available for free online and sets palpable consequences for you if you don’t write. Here’s how it works: you set a goal, either a time limit or a word count, and then begin writing in the text box provided. If you stop writing, one of three things will happen depending on which mode you’ve selected. In gentle mode, if you stop writing a box will pop up reminding you to keep going. This is the nicest of the three. In normal mode, the screen will begin to flash and terrible music will start playing and keep playing until you resume writing. I tend to use this mode because it is most effective without the threat of me losing my work. In the most severe mode, kamikaze mode, you have to keep writing or your work will start to unwrite itself! Letters and whole words will start to disappear. I’ve only worked a few times in this mode, when I really needed to push myself and was more focused on creating work than the perfection of the work. Give it a whirl!

Hollered. Cooed. Guffawed. Dialogue tags are risky business. Novice writers will often think that it’s not enough to use “said” every other line so they try to spice things up by contriving clever alternatives, hoping their carefully deliberated choice will convey the tone and delivery of the words to the reader. As a result, a simple conversation like the one above often ends up getting mangled in a slew of puffy, self-conscious dialogue tags.

Tom Chiarella points out this dilemma in his handbook, Writing Dialogue (a good resource for those who struggle whenever their characters open their mouths). In it, he suggests that beginning writers stick to the word “said” until they’ve really learned to master dialogue in and of itself. He argues that if a dialogue looks bland when it is balanced only on “he saids” and “she saids” then there is likely not enough strength to the dialogue itself, “…in a dialogue that’s flat, you’re in a real double bind. In that sense, overuse of the word “said” is probably a red flag going up that problems exist elsewhere.” By “elsewhere” he means either in the situation (the scene or story) or the words themselves, not how they’re presented.

But you can’t just use “said” every time can you? Well let’s try it:

“Hello,” he said.
“Hello,” she said.
“What’s your name?” he said.
“George,” she said.
“I think I’d better be going,” he said.

Not perfect, but better. And why is it better? For one thing, the attention is placed back on what is being said rather than on how it is being said. With a plethora of dialogue tags, the reader is in a constant game of switching their attention between the writer’s presence and the character’s organic existence. As Chiarella puts it, “Using ‘said’ keeps the reader focused on the character’s words rather than the writer’s cleverness.” In a similar topic, Chiarella suggests that adverbs be wiped from the end of dialogue tags, too. Why? Because if the words are well chosen and strong enough, they should be able to convey to the reader the tone and intention of the character without needing anything else. And with some changes to the position of the dialogue tags it will certainly be well on its way to an inviting dialogue.

Where to Put Dialogue Tags
Dialogue tags can and should be varied to create a natural flow to the scene. If dialogue tags are always placed as they are in the scene above at the end of a sentence, it creates a clunky rhythm that is distracting to the reader. For this reason, writers should interject or “bury” dialogue tags. Dialogue tags can be buried anywhere in the sentence where a normal pause occurs. Punctuation marks, such as commas and periods, are a good indication of where a dialogue tag can be inserted. Dialogue tags can also be buried between clauses, thoughts, and phrases. If you are uncertain of where to put a dialogue tag, try reading the dialogue aloud to yourself to see where a natural pause occurs.

Taking It All Out
Perhaps you are a minimalist and feel that dialogue tags are a waste of time. Maybe they help in a scene where there are three or four people all shouting at once but in a conversation between two people surely it is enough to just hit the return key? There are some writers who choose to take out the he saids and she saids altogether and just leave the dialogue bare. I’ve done this myself once or twice and found the process a bit frustrating. First of all, it was difficult for me to keep track of the scene as I was writing it. And then it also read a bit murky to the reader. Choosing to omit dialogue tags is certainly not the easy way out of the dialogue tag dilemma. It, too, creates a certain effect and it might not always be the one you’re going for. It can also create confusion, not only for the reader but for the writer. So as a writer it is probably wise to not rule out dialogue tags altogether, although you may certainly come across an instance where it is more natural to your story to omit them.

But What If I Really WANT (Not Need) a Dialogue Tag
When I first started exploring the subject of dialogue tags, I was looking for a list of synonyms for “said.” And I found one. I went to work and plugged them in throughout my dialogue and it ended up sounding comical, to say the least. However, sometimes a dialogue will benefit from a few carefully chosen dialogue tags. For those of you who feel confident enough to use dialogue tags wisely, here is my own list of dialogue tags (Chiarella includes one in his book as well). While not all of these necessarily mean “said,” they all can be used as a dialogue tag with a specific connotation. I do not recommend using all or really any of these, but if you feel like doing so here they are! Feel free to expand on this list in the comments!

He SAID

GROVELED
SHOUTED
EXCLAIMED
YELLED
HOLLERED
PLEADED
BARKED
BRAGGED
ANSWERED
RESPONDED
REMARKED
ADDED
EXPRESSED
PROCLAIMED
WHIMPERED
WHINED
MUMBLED
WHISPERED
SUGGESTED
COMPLAINED
OFFERED
MOANED
CHEERED
WARNED
ADMONISHED
HISSED
HICCUPED

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Vocabulary Builders & Games

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http://www.nytimes.com/learning/students/wordofday/index.html

Twitter - Words and definitions tweeted to you in 140 words or less.

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By far the point that stands out for me the most is the very first (and not just because it’s near the top of the page and I’m a lazy reader): “I’ve heard people say that the writing field is saturated and that there’s no room for anyone else. Writers who believe this will never experience their dream career.” It is comforting to hear these words from a publisher. Yes, there are as many people who consider themselves to be writers as there are licenses for MS Word. But that doesn’t mean that everyone succeeds in the business of writing. Just as with anything else worth having, there is competition for publication. If there wasn’t, would it feel so great to finally have your work published? Don’t stress though. PRODUCE. Be diligent and take comfort in the knowledge that even if there are plenty of folks strutting around like they just finished a 30k word novel, there are probably very few who HAVE.

I also jumped at the point about writer’s who are too attached to their own writing. Or should I say I blushed? The truth is, I’ve had the pleasure of having whole sentences cut from my work, wiped out of exist in a fraction of the fragile time they took to compose. And I stood by and let it happen. Why? Because although I may like to think of my work as infallible, as my opinion KING (or queen), and my talent flawless, there are other opinions that matter on the road to publication. Before any work gets through the door it will be scrutinized by at least one editor, who is looking to fit your creative vision into the confines of what the publishing house deems “suitable for print.” Does this mean you should sell out at every opportunity? No. Ever? No. But you SHOULD A) understand the reputation and expectations of who you are working for before you sign on with ANYONE B) Be willing to make reasonable sacrifices to the work for the sake of publication (is the paragraph about your main character’s history of migraines so vital that you are willing to keep the whole work from seeing the light of day? Well, maybe it is. But really think on that before you go DIVA on the hand that feeds.)

Also offered up on their site is an excellent list of resources for writers, including a list of sites to check for literary agents and assistance with composition. It is always assuring to find a publishing house that loves writing as much as writers do.

Kathleen Lindsay aka: Mary Faulkner wrote over 904 books under eleven pseudonyms. She is described by the Guinness Book of World Records as being the most prolific writer in history. Of course, they were mostly romance novels based on dramatized historical contexts and none garnered a great deal of celebrity, but can you really say the woman wasn’t a WRITER?

If you’ve been writing for any steady amount of time, I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase writer’s block thrown around by your fellow writers with some frequency. “I can’t write anything,” your literary comrade might confess. “I just sit and stare at the screen, my fingers frozen to the keyboard. I don’t know what to say, what to type, what to write!” Dramatic, isn’t it?

For me, this phrase has been thrown around so much that it’s lost the drama. It’s one of those phrases like “TGIF” that has become overused and lost its effect, if it ever had one. I don’t pity writers who come to me bitching about writer’s block. I just bite my lip and try to keep my opinions to myself.

Now blogs are another matter so I will politely here state what I think about Writer’s Block for those who are interested: it is ridiculous to argue about whether or not writer’s block exists. Of course it doesn’t. It’s a phenomena akin to an ice cream headache or a teenage heart break. It goes away as soon as you stop paying attention to it and the effect is entirely psychosomatic.

Of course that’s not to say there aren’t plenty of writers who fall into the trap of blaming all of their problems on writer’s block, thereby bringing it into some kind of boogey man-esque reality, where the thing isn’t present in actuality, but continues to cause problems anyway. For one thing, it’s amazing how many writers there are out there who have never completed a novel or a book of poems, even a short story. Most of the time talent is not the issue. It’s procrastination and self-guessing. Many of these writers are sure that if they actually sat down to write a full novel they could churn out one of the best books ever written. They are so damned sure of this that they don’t think it’s necessary to actually write anything, which manifests itself in the form of writer’s block whenever they DO try to write. Convinced they are suffering from writer’s block- as if it were some kind of illness with no known cure, will sometimes put off writing for weeks, months, years at a time. They may feign attempts at recovery via prompts or guidebooks. But really this is just another form of procrastination, of avoiding the writing they need to do in order to “prove themself” a writer. Many writers are fine with this. They will happily choose to be writers who don’t write over being writers who write badly. This is an issue of pride, largely and self-doubt, surely. But when pressed as to the root of their writing problems they will happily point the finger at writer’s block, a wall as imaginary as Humpty Dumpty’s. Leave it to writers to blame real life problems on fantastical devices!

But for the rest of us who are tired of this sort of thing day in and day out, there is help.

Step One Is Admitting You Have a Problem

The first step to getting back to writing is to realize you have a problem and correctly diagnose what that problem is. A writer must acknowledge that it’s not writer’s block, but doubt of his or her own talents which is stuffing up the writing process. The only way to get beyond this is for the writer to admit he or she is not a perfect writer and accept the fact that the only thing which can make a person a great writer is the same thing every other professional undergoes before they become a star: years and years of PRACTICE.

But what about talent and skill? You might be asking at this point. What about the other-worldly qualities of writing, the hand of the muse, things beyond my control, the immortal effervescent sublime?

I understand these questions. Writing for many is another world, one which is truly magical and beyond oneself. How can we suppose to take control over such a magical world without smothering that which makes it special?

The truth is, although writing may seem and is certainly something special,  its metaphysical nature requires a physical presence, or I should say a physical process in order for us to tap into it. It is not that which cannot be touched by mortal hands. It MUST be touched by mortal hands. Without hands to convey this mystical world to those in our world, how will anyone know it exists? We, as writers, create these worlds and are responsible for them. A professional writer must accept that (just as with anything one can do with their body and mind) writing is a craft. And as a craftsman or craftswoman you are unlikely to start out a genius at your profession. In reality, it will take years of practice to perfect your craft, lots of hard work, and probably not much pay or recognition (at least for a while). And yes, you will write some horrible, awful poetry and prose. It is only natural. The art of writing doesn’t lay in being able to produce a perfect piece the moment it leaves your fingertips. The real craft comes from learning how to turn that crappy page of poetry or bit of prose into something artful, well-tuned, perfected through weeks and months of careful editing, re-thinking and re-writing until it is fit to be shared with the world.

This does of course require a lot of self-realization and careful ego-checking for many of us. But it is as necessary in the world of writing as it is in every other profession. Before greatness comes humility. Be humble about your work and you will realize the potential it really has. This will save you some of the anguish that comes with releasing unfinished work out into the world only to have it be rejected by publishers and critics.

Who Cares? Just Write!

This is something that the great writers have shown to us time and time again. They have, over the centuries, kept any number of varied opinions about how writing “works” and how writers should perform. Some authors wrote everyday, carefully cataloging each scrap of written sentiment. Others scribbled away furiously only to toss most of their works into the fire, destroying much of the evidence of their methods forever. But what all share in common is this simple fact: they wrote. A lot. Almost constantly. Writing was to them as serious a daily need as eating and sleeping, sometimes even more so.

I recently read an article in Spotlight Magazine, a resource for my ESL classes, entitled “The Day the Writer Came to Class.” In it, a famous journalist comes to the University of Wisconsin to talk to the students about his writing career. The class waits in anticipation for the big day, their teacher emphasizing throughout the week the invaluable opportunity this represents. Finally the big day comes and the writer walks into the room. Everyone is quiet, waiting with hungry eyes and ears to ingest the words of this literary giant. There is heavy silence in the room. In the cacophonous void, the man sets his brief case down on the table, looks up at the class and says, “What are you all doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home, writing?” Then he leaves. Sage-like words from a cold-blooded professional.

Of course at this point in the article the irony of the five precious moments we’ve spent together here online reveals itself. What are we doing here? Shouldn’t we be somewhere else, perhaps off the net, writing?

The answer is yes. So off you go, hopefully cured for now of your malady. If you need some fuel for your fire feel free to check out the “exercises” or “prompts” tags above. And remember to have fun!